A Guarded Love Read online

Chapter 25

  Kristin arrived back to her room after her morning walk. She found she was alone for the first time in a couple of days. Everyone took a turn staying with her and she appreciated it. She didn’t like being alone. Now her mom had to get back to work and her sister couldn’t miss any more school.

  Sitting in the quiet, she thought back to the attack. It brought back painful memories. Rubbing her hand over the bandage on her stomach, she realized that today she felt peace and quiet. It was a calm feeling. A weight had been lifted and she felt free. The attack had happened so quickly, and she tried to recall the details, but kept coming up short.

  During the past couple of days, Kristin vacillated between anger toward Sam and sorrow that he died. She had never wanted that to be the outcome. Knowing that Sam couldn’t hurt her anymore did give her comfort, but other doubts kept creeping in. How had she overlooked how mentally unbalanced he was? Were there signs that she had ignored? How could she truly trust again? Kristin’s thoughts were interrupted by the door opening. She watched as Grandma Suzie peeked her head around.

  “Are you ready for some company?” Grandma Suzie walked directly to her bed, followed by Grandpa Scott.

  Kristin was thrilled to see them. “Of course.”

  “How are you feeling, sweet pea?” Grandma Suzie grabbed her hand.

  “I’m feeling better every day.” Kristin felt better just seeing them.

  Grandpa Scott went over to the other side of the bed. “You gave us quiet the scare, little lady. But I have to say that you look bright-eyed today.” Kristin loved the twinkle in his eyes.

  “I’m going to be released tomorrow.”

  Grandma Suzie looked concerned. “To your apartment?”

  “Yes.” Kristin wasn’t sure what the problem was.

  “Do you have someone to take care of you? You’re not well enough to be alone.” Kristin loved the way Grandma Suzie sounded so motherly.

  “Oh…”

  “Don’t worry. Suzie will take care of everything.” Grandpa Scott chuckled.

  Grandma Suzie patted her hand.

  “Thank you for taking care of me. How have both of you been?” Kristin wanted to draw the spotlight off herself.

  “We’re doing fine.” Grandpa Scott said with a wink.

  “Where’s Landon?” Grandma Suzie looked around the room.

  “He had a meeting with his manager.”

  “That boy hasn’t left your side very often. He sure does care for you.” Grandpa Scott looked into her eyes.

  Kristin felt embarrassed and looked away. Grandma Suzie suggested that Grandpa Scott get her some orange juice from the cafeteria. He seemed eager to have a job to do.

  Grandma Suzie waited until Grandpa Scott left. “Do you want to talk?”

  Kristin stared at her palm of her hand. “Talk about what?”

  “Landon.”

  “I don’t know what you mean.” She couldn’t meet Grandma Suzie’s eyes, so she continued to stare at her hand.

  “I think there are feelings between you two, but I feel like you’re fighting those feelings.”

  Kristin didn’t like how Grandma Suzie could pinpoint her feelings so accurately.

  “Are you afraid to like Landon?” Kristin could hear the compassion in Grandma Suzie’s voice.

  She didn’t want to have this talk. Her mind felt confused, and she didn’t know what she wanted.

  “Do you want to know what I’ve observed?”

  Kristin stayed silent but quickly glanced at Grandma Suzie.

  “I think you’ve had a relationship that ended tragically and now you don’t trust yourself.”

  Tears spilled freely and Kristin nodded her head.

  “Did you know that I had trust issues when I was younger?”

  Kristin wiped her tears and shook her head.

  “The first man in my life caused me grief and pain. It was my dad. He was an alcoholic who cheated on my mom with many women. I was messed up for a long time because of the abuse both mentally and physically. I didn’t trust men. When I was in high school, I met Scott. He was also in an abusive family. Finding him changed my life. It took me years to get to the point I’m at now, but Scott and I helped each other. It is possible to trust again.”

  “I appreciate your concern and insight. I just have a lot to think about right now.”

  Silence followed. Kristin was aware that Grandma Suzie had been vulnerable and opened up to her. She feared she was falling into her old patterns of pushing people away, just like she did when she first met Landon.

  “My life became better when I let myself love Scott the way I really wanted to.”

  Kristin was relieved when Grandpa Scott walked in, followed by Landon. Her heart started beating heavily when she laid eyes on him.

  “Look who I bumped into.” Grandpa Scott sounded so cheery.

  Grandma Suzie walked over to give Landon a hug. Landon started walking over to Kristin, but Grandma Suzie grabbed his arm and pulled him over to the side.

  “What’s going on?” Landon sounded frustrated.

  “I thought you should know that Kristin is being released tomorrow, and she plans on staying at her apartment alone. She’s not ready to take care of herself.”

  Landon looked at Kristin.

  “I can hear everything you’re saying.” Kristin grinned.

  Grandma Suzie made her way over to the bed. Landon followed. “We can’t let you take care of yourself,” she said. “Right, Landon?”

  “Right. I want you to stay with us. We can take care of you until you’re fully recovered. It will be easier for your mom to go to work knowing that someone is taking care of you.” Landon reached for her hand.

  “I’ve been such a pain.” Kristin stared at the ceiling. “This is going to be a huge inconvenience.”

  Landon dropped to eyelevel with Kristin. “You’re not an inconvenience.”

  “If Lexi doesn’t want to be at the apartment alone, she can stay with us.” Grandpa Scott joined them at the bedside.

  “I think it’s the best solution. What do you need from your apartment? I can have Lexi bring it here.” Landon started pushing buttons on his phone.

  “It’s frustrating that I can’t take care of myself.” Kristin looked at the ceiling.

  Grandma Suzie patted her leg. “It’s only temporary. You can do your studies and heal. In a few weeks you can go home.”

  “Thank you for helping me. I should stay at Landon’s.” Kristin felt humbled by their generosity. “I’ll text Lexi with what I need her to bring.”

  “I think we’ll go home and get ready for your homecoming.” Grandma Suzie picked up her purse and headed to the door.

  Grandpa Scott stopped at the door and turned around. “I’m excited to have you home.”

  Kristin smiled at Grandpa Scott and then turned her attention to Landon as he texted on his phone. She felt tempted to hide in her own apartment and deal with the aftermath of the attack by herself, but sooner or later she would have to face reality. Courage was needed and she didn’t have very much at the moment. Landon finished texting and sat on the edge of the bed. Holding her hand, he brought it to his lips and gave it a soft kiss. Kristin loved his nearness, but she wasn’t in the mood to have any deep conversations.

  “Do you want to watch a movie?” Landon grabbed the remote and sank into the recliner near her bed.

  “That sounds fun. Let’s watch a comedy.” Comfort washed over Kristin; Landon wasn’t going to push her to talk—something Sam would have done.

  Halfway through the movie, Kristin’s eyes flickered open. She hadn’t realized that she had fallen asleep. Landon looked sweet as he slept. It meant so much to her that he was willing to spend time at the hospital, especially when it was his time off from work. It showed integrity and loyalty and no matter what happened between them, she would never forget it.

  Kristin had been going over Grandma Suzie’s conversation. It had started her thinking. She was fully aware that she di
dn’t pay attention to the warnings in regard to Sam. So far with Landon, she didn’t have any bad feelings. That was good because she would need to stop things from going forward. What could she do to start trusting again? Kristin was getting a headache from thinking so much. Instead, she decided she was going to enjoy this time with Landon.

  Chapter 26

  Throughout the following days, Landon was able to see progress in Kristin’s health. She was still taking a few short naps each day, but she was able to do more and more. He dreaded the day she would be well enough to go home because he’d miss her, and that day was rapidly approaching. He focused on making sure she was comfortable. Her family came to visit every day.

  Rob and Landon spoke to Kristin’s school advisor to explain what happened and see what they could do to keep her graduating on time. Both teachers started to live stream the classes. Kristin could watch her classes at her leisure and they would rearrange the finals for after she was feeling better. The advisor felt that she would have enough time to finish attending the five remaining concerts and still be able to perform in the senior recital. It was such a relief that Kristin could still graduate.

  Before he knew it, four weeks had passed and Kristin was strong enough to go back to her own apartment.

  Landon felt completely out of his mind because he wanted to talk to Kristin about their relationship, but he knew that Kristin needed to be the one to start the conversation. He wasn’t going to push her. It had to be when she was ready, but the waiting was hard. Landon found himself in the kitchen watching Kristin working on her music at the kitchen table. He came up behind her and kissed her on the top of her head. “I think you’ve been cooped up long enough. It’s going to be a beautiful day. Want to go for a walk?” Landon joined her at the table.

  Kristin smiled at him. “Yes. I’ve been thinking about visiting your horses.”

  “Really?” He could feel the shock showing on his face. “We can look at them from a safe distance.”

  “I think that would be wise.” Kristin giggled.

  “When would you like to leave?”

  “Let me put my shoes on, and I’ll be ready. I’ll meet you back here.”

  Landon watched Kristin leave before he turned to look out the kitchen window, wondering if they would ever commit to each other. Even though he was ready to be more committed now, he’d wait for her to decide to take things to the next level. Landon’s heart quickened when she entered the kitchen. She looked adorable in jeans and a big maroon sweater.

  “Ready?” Kristin had a glow about her.

  Landon held out his arm. “I’m ready, but we’re going to take it slow.”

  Kristin wrapped her arm around his and leaned her body close. They walked quietly. As they reached the barn, Kristin stiffened.

  “Are you sure you’re up for this?”

  “I’m a little nervous.” Kristin released his arm and pulled the sweater tighter around herself.

  “Why don’t you stand by the main door. You can look from there and still see the horses in the stalls.”

  “I like that idea.” Kristin leaned on the side of the barn door. “There are so many stalls.”

  “Yeah. I wanted a safe place for them to stay in the winter.”

  Landon was proud of Kristin for taking this step to overcome her fear. She was so courageous. He went to the first stall and waited at the gate for the white stallion to come. Once the horse came close, Landon let him smell him then he reached up and patted his nose. The horse bent over the cold metal gate to get closer to Landon.

  Kristin laughed at the interaction. “What’s the horse’s name?”

  “Casper.” Landon gave him a good rub behind the ears.

  “Is it because he’s white like a ghost?” Kristin’s voice had a teasing tone.

  “Yep.” He stopped petting Casper and crossed the barn to the other stall. A brown mare was waiting and whinnied for Landon when she saw him. “Isn’t she a beautiful chestnut color?”

  “Yes, she is. What’s her name?”

  “Oakley. She going to have a baby soon.”

  “That’s exciting.” Kristin sounded like she meant it.

  “It is. Do you want to come inside the barn? The horses can’t reach you while they’re in their stalls.”

  “Um.”

  “There’s hay at the end of this building. I have a blanket that we can throw over it. Then we can sit down.”

  Landon noticed how rigid Kristin was standing. She was rubbing her hands on her jeans and avoided his gaze. He met her at the front of the barn. Taking her hand, he started leading her down the aisle. At first, she kept her eyes focused on the floor. Any time a horse made a sound, she would squeeze Landon’s hand harder. By the time they were almost to the hay, she was able to look up at a few of the horses.

  “Wait here. I’ll put the blanket on the hay.”

  Kristin stayed glued in her spot. She didn’t even turn around to look at the animals. Once Landon made the hay comfortable, he escorted her to the new place to sit. “You did a great job today.”

  Kristin let out a deep breath. “That was terrifying.”

  He turned to look at her. “You did something hard. I’m proud of you.”

  “I’ve had to deal with so many terrifying situations lately.” Kristin pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

  Kristin was right. She had dealt with some very horrible circumstances, but Landon could see her strength.

  “Your grandma had a talk with me while I was in the hospital. I’ve been thinking about it ever since.” Kristin kept her eyes focused on the dirty cement floor.

  Landon kept quiet but he felt his heart hammer.

  “When I first met you, I never thought a relationship would happen between us.”

  “Neither did I.”

  Kristin didn’t look at him. “Grandma Suzie talked to me about trust. It was like she had an insight into my soul. At first it made me uncomfortable, but I think the reason she could relate to me is that she had trust issues of her own.” A horse whinnied and Kristin looked up. “I know I have problems with trust. I don’t trust myself to be able to choose worthwhile men.”

  Kristin paused. It was so hard for Landon to wait for her to speak, but she didn’t make him wait long.

  “So, I’ve had some time to think. I’ve noticed my confidence in you and our relationship is growing daily. Your commitment to this relationship is very evident. You’ve spent your break from touring to take care of me and I’ve never heard you complain. You’re trustworthy, compassionate, loyal, and full of chivalry. I thought that was a lost characteristic, but you are a great example of that. The list could go on and on.”

  Landon silently committed himself to her. He wanted all of her—good and bad. He knew he wanted to be with her every possible minute.

  “I’m trying to have a new outlook since I’ve been given a second chance at life, but I have to admit, it’s a lot harder to overcome than I expected.” Kristin chortled.

  “Are you saying that you want to give our relationship a chance?” Landon tried to keep his hope down.

  Kristin took a deep breath. “Even with all my fears and doubts, I want to be with you. I feel comfortable with you. That’s important to me.” She turned to face him. “We’ll have to deal with some problems though.”

  “I’ve been thinking about us too. Right before the accident I told you that we would take things slow. I’m still good with that. Are you good with that?”

  “Yes.”

  Landon knew how hard this was for Kristin. She probably didn’t like being this open, exposed and raw, but Landon felt reassured knowing that she was thinking about their relationship. “I know that my fame will cause some trouble too.” He was concerned about the publicity. It wasn’t about their relationship, but about the crazy people it might attract. Landon mentally committed to protect her. He’d do anything for her.

  “I’ve been thinking about that too. Fame is insane, but wi
th your help I think we can work through it.”

  “Speaking of fame, do you still want to perform at my concert?”

  “I’m nervous about getting back on stage, but I’m trying to put the past behind me.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.” Landon reached for her hand.

  “I’ve been concerned with this before, but what if your fans don’t like me? If I perform at your concert, they will know my name. What if they make life miserable for me again?”

  “I think we’ll have some things to sort through, especially what we allow the fans to know. They don’t have to know everything about us. There has to be a separation. Working through whatever we need to is worth it to be with you.

  Kristin ran her hand through her hair. “Do you think things will be as serious as being stalked again and getting angry hate mail?”

  “I hope not. We can’t control everything, but we have Rob and the team to help us.” Landon was more worried about protecting Kristin than he was letting on. He would have a meeting with Rob to make a game plan so they could live as normal life as possible. Even with his fears of a crazy fan harassing Kristin, Landon still wanted to be with and commit to her. He couldn’t picture his life without her.

  He sat there contemplating when Kristin stood in front of him, placed her hands on the sides of his face, and lowered her lips to his. Landon surprised himself by his sharp intake of breath. Their kiss became mutual and passionately tender. It lasted a moment, but he was caught up with thoughts swirling in his mind about all the possibilities that could come from this relationship. He felt hope and excitement for the future, knowing that it would take a lot of work.

  Kristin’s eyes were sparkling. “I think we should head back.” She held her hand out to Landon. “When should we start rehearsing the music for our concert?”

  “We could practice today.” Landon put his arm around her shoulder.

  “How about this afternoon? I have an appointment today at 11:00 with Ava.”

  “Ava? My cousin?” Landon stopped in the middle of the barn to look at Kristin.

  “Yes. Your grandma told me she knows a lot about family history. I want to learn more about my dad’s side of the family. I know he doesn’t want to be part of our lives, but he has a mother that is still alive and other members of the family that I would like to get to know.”